"FOOT FETISH" GENERAL FIRED
FOR FONDLING WOMENS' FEET
USAF BRIG. GEN. RICHARD S. HASSAN
UNDER INVESTIGATION BY THE I.G.
FEMALE SUBORDINATE FILED
COMPLAINT ABOUT "FOOT-RUBBING"
AND "FRATERNIZATION" - ANOTHER
EMBARRASSMENT FOR AIR FORCE
BRASS IN WAKE OF FISCUS SCANDAL

One has to wonder what is really behind the humiliation of an Air Force brigadier general, accused by female workers of "rubbing" their feet! Could it be that a "foot fetish" has the brass hats in such a dither? Or is someone out to get Gen. Richard S. Hassan - until recently, director of the Air Force Senior Leadership Management Office?

With all the serious "sexual harassment" that has occurred and still goes on in the Air Force, one would think firing a flag officer because of an accusation he fondled women's feet would be pretty low on the "priority" totem pole. But in this age of extreme political correctness - and we aren't carrying any water for Gen. Hassan here - even looking at a female subordinate the wrong way could cost a boss his career.

There's plenty of instances of ranking officers "hitting on" female workers and not taking "No!" for an answer. Why not better utilize time and resources investigating those creeps instead? We know why, don't we? The only top officers ever punished are the ones who've become a public liability or fall "out of favor" with the Air Force brass. The ones who get away with all that are protected by their highly-placed pals. Nothing ever happens to them.

FINGERED BY FEMALE WORKER AS "FOOT" FANATIC

Only a fiction writer could come up with this one. The general who is to decide Hassan's fate is named Lance Lord. He's head of the USAF Space Command.

Sources say that Hassan was "fingered" by a female worker who told investigators the one-star general had also rubbed the tootsies of several other women over the past four or five years.

Omigod! Call out the FBI and Homeland Security! We gotta lock this guy up, right now!

It's possible that Hassan might have had some sort of "sexual relations" with the complaining women, but if that were the case, we'd have heard about it by now.

Out of 15 or 20 women interviewed about the general, only three or four actually had specific complaints.

According to the ever-improving AIR FORCE TIMES, some of the women whose feet were rubbed "told IG investigators they didn't like it, and others said they let Hassan do it again. One or two said they were concerned that if they didn't go along with it, they would be snubbed by him at work." [Italics, ours.]

"Snubbed?" How awful! Let's activate the National Guard! The CIA should look into this. How about a Congressional investigation? Let's forego any court-martial and just string Hassan up on a pole, hanging a "pervert" sign around his neck. Yeah, that's the ticket!

One of the "victims" confessed to investigators that she found the "foot rubbing" to be sensual, and thus didn't want it to continue. We guess that's because she didn't want to risk getting further aroused. Poor girl.

MORE ABSURDITY FROM THE AIR FORCE

How ludicrous! Our troops in Iraq are being blown to bits, women are being sexually assaulted at the Air Force Academy - a majority of the cases there are legitimate - yet the Air Force is making itself look ridiculous on the altar of "political correctness" and "cover-your-ass at any cost."

Gee, maybe some of the women who worked for Hassan will claim PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) as a result of the foot "ministrations" they received. Then they can leave the Air Force and collect a fat VA pension check. After all, such an "ordeal" should be worth a few hundred thousand bucks to these "traumatized" young women, right? Maybe they can score a book or movie deal, too! How about: "My Feet Were Fondled by the Foot Fetish General"?

What we can't figure out is how that nasty man Hassan was able to tackle these gals and grab their feet and "rub" them if the women didn't consent? Maybe he did it while they weren't looking. At least he didn't suck on their toes. A source within the investigation tells us Hassan liked females who wore dark-colored hose. "Bare feet" apparently wasn't his style.

THE FISCUS FIASCO REMEMBERED

The last Air Force flag officer found to be acting "inappropriately" with his female subordinates was none other than chief JAG, former Maj. Gen. Thomas J. Fiscus.

This arrogant, obnoxious, little man didn't mind sending others to jail, but when it came to his many sexual affairs with both willing and unwilling partners - none of whom, incidentally, were punished for all the "bennies" and promotions they received from the illicit liaisons - he thought that behavior was just fine, for a two-star general. Rank does have its privileges, you know.

Even obstructing justice and impeding an investigation is OK, as long as you can get away with it. But Fiscus, once exposed in the media, "stunk" too much in the nostrils of the top brass. They had to do something about him! So, finally, the Air Force actually "disciplined" a general officer. Well. kind of. With a wrist slap.

While a lesser military member would have been busted, lost his pension and maybe done time in Leavenworth, this general's "buddies" took good care of one of their own. Fiscus had to retire as a colonel, two notches down the "pecking order," but he got to avoid jail and collect a fat pension.

"Different spanks for different ranks" is still the norm in today's heavily-politicized Air Force.